The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
