He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
