now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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