Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
