community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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