their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize