could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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