You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
