Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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