you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
