i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
