dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
