dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
