Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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