Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
