I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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