i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
