I need help removing her.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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