Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
