Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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