Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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