I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
