She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize