no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize