Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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