i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
