I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
