The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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