I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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