He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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