Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
