So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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