I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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