I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't think brook has ever known best
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
