I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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