Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
