if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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