...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
