I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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