He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
