You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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