i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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