You're my little dorito
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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