I seem to have left my pride at pride
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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