I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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