yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize