And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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