I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
