It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
