I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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