you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
