If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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