Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
