A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
