So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
