OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
