Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
