so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
